Blog

Como terapeuta especializada en niños y adolescentes y madre de dos adolescentes en pleno fragor de la vida estudiantil, he acumulado una vasta experiencia en el apoyo a los estudiantes con su funcionamiento ejecutivo. No desaprovecho ninguna oportunidad para fortalecer la independencia y la toma de responsabilidad en ellos.Claro está, este proceso viene acompañado de errores, pero es fundamental recordar que los errores son parte integral y necesaria del crecimiento.¿Pero qué constituye exactamente el funcionamiento ejecutivo? Las funciones ejecutivas son esas habilidades de autorregulación que utilizamos diariamente para planificar, organizar, tomar decisiones y aprender de nuestras experiencias pasadas. Desde tareas rutinarias como ducharse hasta proyectos más complejos como elaborar un informe, los niños dependen de estas habilidades para desenvolverse en su día a día.Por tanto, si eres padre o madre de un estudiante de secundaria, sabrás que esta etapa conlleva un notable crecimiento y desarrollo.No obstante, mantener la calma y la paciencia con tu hijo adolescente en estos cruciales años de formación no es tarea sencilla. Recientemente, mi hijo regresó a casa después del colegio para informarme que había olvidado su sudadera en el colegio. Y este tipo de episodios son moneda corriente en nuestra vida cotidiana: ya sea una sudadera olvidada, una cantimplora extraviada o cualquier otro objeto.Intento respirar profundamente (muy profundamente) en tales momentos. A veces, mi hijo recuerda volver por lo que ha olvidado, lo cual es un pequeño triunfo en sí mismo.Es importante comprender que los niños no nacen con habilidades de funcionamiento ejecutivo, pero la investigación neurocientífica nos ha enseñado que el cerebro humano es adaptable, especialmente durante la infancia y la adolescencia. Nuestros cerebros pueden moldearse y transformarse para adquirir nuevas habilidades con práctica y repetición, un fenómeno conocido como neuroplasticidad.Los estudiantes tienen numerosas oportunidades para desarrollar el funcionamiento ejecutivo durante la secundaria. En un mundo ideal, los adolescentes contarían con modelos de estas habilidades tanto en el hogar como en el aula, pero ¿cómo pueden los padres contribuir a este proceso?A continuación, presento 9 estrategias que los padres de estudiantes de secundaria pueden implementar para fomentar el desarrollo del funcionamiento ejecutivo en sus hijos.Durante la secundaria, el cerebro de los adolescentes está en constante ebullición, lo que puede resultar muy distractor y abrumador para ellos. Además, de repente, se ven enfrentados a una multiplicación de su independencia y responsabilidades.Es natural que sus habilidades de funcionamiento ejecutivo flaqueen en ocasiones. Afortunadamente, como padres, podemos desempeñar un papel fundamental en guiarlos a través de esta etapa de transición, complementando las actividades llevadas a cabo por los maestros en el aula.1- Reconocer el crecimiento. Es importante elogiar los avances. Al igual que cuando éramos adolescentes, es fácil para los adultos centrarse en los comportamientos negativos, por lo que es crucial reconocer los logros, por mínimos que parezcan, de nuestros hijos. Observa otras oportunidades para resaltar lo que tu hijo hace bien, reforzando así el desarrollo de la función ejecutiva durante la adolescencia, como levantarse sin ayuda, organizar la mochila o cumplir con sus responsabilidades sin recordatorios. 2- Autodefensa Enseñar a los adolescentes a defenderse y comunicarse de manera efectiva es fundamental para su éxito futuro. Si, por ejemplo, un familiar está enfermo y tu hijo necesita más tiempo para terminar un trabajo escolar, anímalo a comunicarse con su profesor. No solo será apreciado por el docente, sino que también será una habilidad invaluable para su vida académica y profesional. 3 - Tomarse un momento Aprender a detenerse y reflexionar es esencial para desarrollar un sólido funcionamiento ejecutivo. Como los olvidos son algo frecuente en mi casa, ahora le pido a mi hijo que haga una pausa antes de salir de casa, repasando mentalmente todo lo que necesita llevar consigo. El cerebro de un adolescente está constantemente en movimiento, por lo que detenerse un momento es fundamental para que puedan concentrarse y organizarse. 4 - Anotarlo Nunca subestimes el poder de hacer listas. En lugar de hablarles de "planificadores", muestra a tus hijos cómo utilizar listas de verificación para organizarse. Puedes pedirles que escriban lo que necesitan hacer y recordar durante la semana en un papel. Con suerte, esto los ayudará a adoptar herramientas de organización más sofisticadas por su cuenta. 5 - Establecer prioridades En la secundaria, las tareas y actividades pueden acumularse rápidamente, por lo que es fundamental que los adolescentes aprendan a priorizar. En nuestro hogar, por ejemplo, establecemos límites claros sobre el uso de dispositivos electrónicos antes de terminar los deberes. Sin embargo, es importante involucrar a los adolescentes en este proceso, permitiéndoles participar en la toma de decisiones sobre qué tareas priorizar. 6 - Gestión del tiempo Una vez que los adolescentes aprenden a priorizar, la gestión del tiempo se vuelve mucho más sencilla. Puedes ayudarles enseñándoles a establecer alarmas y recordatorios para tareas importantes, o utilizando un calendario familiar donde todos puedan ver los compromisos de cada uno. Los adolescentes suelen responder bien a los estímulos visuales, por lo que este enfoque puede resultar especialmente efectivo. 7 - Hábitos y rutinas Los adolescentes suelen resistirse a la idea de utilizar un planificador físico, argumentando que pueden consultar las tareas en línea. Sin embargo, establecer la rutina de revisar regularmente las asignaciones en línea puede ayudarles a desarrollar hábitos de organización saludables. Además, fomentar rutinas diarias, como dedicar un tiempo específico para hacer la tarea o practicar un instrumento musical, puede contribuir a una gestión más eficiente del tiempo. 8 - Dividir las tareas En la escuela secundaria, los estudiantes suelen enfrentarse a proyectos y tareas más complejas. Aunque los profesores suelen dividir estas tareas en etapas más pequeñas, es importante que los padres también participen en este proceso. Puedes preguntarles a tus hijos sobre el tema de su proyecto o revisar sus borradores, lo que les ayudará a comprender cómo completar tareas largas dividiéndolas en partes más manejables. Permitirles probar a su manera Si bien puede resultar tentador intervenir y ofrecer soluciones a cada problema que enfrentan nuestros hijos, es importante permitirles experimentar y encontrar sus propias soluciones.

Guiando a los dolescentes en el desarrollo del Funcionamiento Ejecutivo

Father and son have fun on the beach watching the landing planes. Traveling on an airplane with children concept

Moving to a new country can be an exhilarating adventure, but for children and adolescents, especially those in expatriate families, it can also bring a host of challenges. Among these challenges, language barriers and social integration difficulties often loom large, impacting academic performance and social well-being. However, with careful planning and support, these obstacles can be mitigated, paving the way for a smoother transition and a more positive experience for young expats.One of the most immediate hurdles faced by expat children and adolescents is adapting to a new language. For many, this can lead to academic struggles, as comprehension and communication become compromised in an unfamiliar linguistic environment. Without adequate language skills, accessing educational resources and forming meaningful connections with peers becomes significantly more challenging.To address this issue, proactive measures should be taken before the move. Providing children with opportunities to learn the language of their destination country prior to relocation can greatly facilitate their transition. Enrolling them in language courses or encouraging language immersion through activities such as watching films, reading books, or engaging with native speakers can help build a foundation of proficiency and confidence.Another crucial factor in easing the transition for expat children is the choice of school. While international schools may offer a seamless integration process with specialized language support programs, they may not always be financially feasible for every family. In such cases, selecting schools with experience in welcoming foreign students and implementing effective support systems becomes essential.Furthermore, predicting a child's adaptability to a new country and culture can be aided by assessing their social skills and language learning aptitude. Children who demonstrate ease in making friends and participating in social activities in their current environment are likely to fare better in their new surroundings. Cognitive tests assessing language learning potential can also provide valuable insights into a child's ability to adapt to a new linguistic landscape.In addition to these proactive measures, ongoing support and encouragement are vital in helping expat children navigate the challenges of relocation. Providing a nurturing environment where children feel supported and valued, both academically and socially, can significantly enhance their sense of belonging and well-being.One of the most important aspects of supporting children and adolescents in a new country is to establish open lines of communication. Encourage your children to express their feelings, fears, and concerns about the move. Actively listen to them and validate their emotions. This will help them feel understood and supported during this transition.Helping your children feel like they belong in their new country is crucial for their well-being. Encourage them to participate in local activities and clubs that align with their interests. This will provide them with opportunities to make friends and develop a sense of belonging within the community.During this period of change, it's essential to maintain familiar routines and traditions from your home country. This can provide a sense of stability and comfort for your children. Continue practicing family traditions, celebrating holidays, and engaging in activities that remind them of home.As a parent, it's important to build a support network for yourself and your children. Connect with other expat families who have similar experiences and challenges. Join online forums, local expat groups, or attend community events where you can meet people who understand what you're going through.Encourage your children to learn about the local culture and traditions of their new country. Visit museums, attend cultural festivals, and explore historical landmarks together. This will not only broaden their horizons but also help them develop a deeper appreciation for their new surroundings.Education plays a vital role in a child's development, especially when they are adjusting to a new school system. Stay involved in their education by attending parent-teacher meetings, communicating with their teachers, and offering assistance with homework. Advocate for any additional support they may need to ensure a smooth transition academically.Expat life often requires resilience and adaptability. Teach your children to embrace change and view challenges as opportunities for growth. Encourage them to step outside their comfort zones, try new things, and learn from their experiences. Instilling these qualities will help them thrive not only in their current situation but also in future endeavors.If your child is struggling to adjust to their new life, don't hesitate to seek professional help. A qualified therapist or counselor can provide additional support and guidance tailored to your child's specific needs. They can help your child navigate their emotions, build resilience, and develop coping strategies.

Supporting  children and adolescentes on the challenges of expat life

A distraught little girl cries on her father's lap

Los primeros años de la infancia están marcados por el llanto de los bebés y los berrinches de los niños pequeños. Es una etapa en la que los padres esperan que sus hijos comiencen a manejar sus emociones sin dramas desmesurados. Sin embargo, regular las emociones es un proceso complejo que va más allá de simplemente esperar que los niños "crezcan" y lo dominen por sí mismos. Según la Doctora Pamela Cole, de Penn State, la regulación emocional implica una serie de habilidades cognitivas y emocionales, como la atención, la planificación y el desarrollo cognitivo, que se desarrollan a diferentes ritmos en cada niño. Desde la genética hasta el entorno en el que crecen, varios factores influyen en la capacidad de los niños para gestionar sus emociones de manera efectiva.Es en este punto donde entran en juego los padres, maestros y otros cuidadores. Ellos desempeñan un papel crucial en el apoyo y la enseñanza a los niños sobre cómo manejar sus emociones. Según los estudios, los niños que tienen una relación segura y de confianza con sus padres o cuidadores tienden a tener una mejor regulación emocional que aquellos cuyas necesidades no son atendidas adecuadamente por sus cuidadores. Por lo tanto, establecer una conexión emocional sólida desde el principio es fundamental.Entonces, ¿cuáles son las estrategias científicamente probadas que los padres y cuidadores pueden utilizar para ayudar a los niños a desarrollar habilidades de regulación emocional? Desde temprano, es importante comenzar a hablar con los niños sobre sus emociones. Se puede señalar situaciones en libros o películas donde los personajes experimentan diferentes emociones y hablar sobre cómo se sienten. Esta práctica les ayuda a los niños a reconocer y nombrar sus propias emociones.Además de hablar sobre emociones, es esencial modelar un buen comportamiento emocional. Los niños aprenden observando a los adultos a su alrededor, por lo que los padres y cuidadores deben ser conscientes de cómo manejan sus propias emociones. Mantener la calma en situaciones estresantes y manejar los conflictos de manera constructiva les enseña a los niños estrategias efectivas para lidiar con sus propias emociones.Otra estrategia importante es elogiar más y castigar menos. Está comprobado que el castigo severo no solo es ineficaz, sino que puede empeorar el comportamiento de los niños. En su lugar, los padres deben centrarse en elogiar y recompensar el comportamiento positivo, lo que refuerza las habilidades de regulación emocional de los niños.Sin embargo, si un niño está luchando con la regulación emocional, es importante buscar ayuda profesional. Los psicólogos y otros profesionales de la salud mental pueden proporcionar estrategias y apoyo adicionales para ayudar al niño a desarrollar habilidades de regulación emocional.En resumen, el proceso de enseñar a los niños a regular sus emociones es complejo y requiere tiempo y paciencia. Pero al proporcionar un entorno de apoyo, enseñar habilidades emocionales y modelar un buen comportamiento, los padres y cuidadores pueden desempeñar un papel fundamental en el desarrollo emocional saludable de los niños.

Estrategias para la regulación emocional en la infancia

Full length portrait of happy elegant girl in beige fit and flare dress and a little crown on head among 2 piles of golden gifts in front of a plain wall. efficiency shopping in one place concept.

Today's youth aren't hungry for progress, just for making money," stated Cristiano Ronaldo, the millionaire football player who doesn't live in scarcity but was born in one of Madeira's poorest neighborhoods. Whether we like him or not, and regardless of how he showcases his current power, he undeniably serves as an example of personal growth. However, being born in such conditions isn't necessary to understand the value of effort and money; many have learned this lesson despite being born in better circumstances. Although they are becoming increasingly rare... and there are increasingly more voices questioning what achievements we are leaving for a kid who, for instance, already has the latest 1,300 euro iPhone at 13.There are many things within our reach to reconsider not only how we are educating the younger generations but also to focus on ourselves and reflect on the many unnecessary actions in our daily lives. It's not about taking vows of poverty but about observing gestures we've internalized without realizing, which can do more harm than we think.There's a lot we can do to rethink not only how we're educating the younger generations but also to focus on ourselves and consider the many unnecessary actions in our daily lives. It's not about embracing poverty but rather about examining the gestures we've internalized without realizing, which can cause more harm than we imagine.Adolescents are ready to explore the world; they need it; it's the age to do so. If we nullify this need by making things too easy for them, we're not only failing to help them but also inhibiting a crucial aspect of their development. Quick clicks don't help; they want fast food, it's a click away; they want sex, they have all they want with very easy access.Furthermore, the excess of things and parents being the ones to provide them ends up nullifying effort and tolerance for frustration. There's the syndrome of the hyper-gifted child: They stop valuing effort. Whether it's Christmas or any time of the year, if they ask for something and get it immediately, they'll think: if I have everything I ask for, why should I bother making an effort? In this way, we also fail to cultivate patience.In an increasingly accelerated world, cultivating patience, waiting, and slowness, is more necessary than ever. This education in non-abundance should also apply to the use of mobile phones and technology in general. Unlimited data plans, smartphones capable of hours of browsing and gigabytes of information, far from bringing us happiness, take it away. We can all take small steps toward a slow lifestyle. According to studies on time use in Spain, the average Spaniard spends between 7 and 8 hours on screens. The most terrible thing about this data is that most of those hours are optional; it's not work, nobody is forcing us to spend 4 hours looking at Instagram or TikTok. They are personal choices, which is why I believe we always have room to improve our lives.IDEAS FOR EDUCATING IN SCARCITY Educating in scarcity doesn't mean intentionally living in worse conditions than we can afford but rather eliminating superfluous things that, on the other hand, are nullifying innate needs and talents necessary for human growth.Gift time, experiences, and love, not material objects: It's more than proven that we will forget physical things sooner or later. But the feelings and experiences we've lived are what we truly cherish. If it's necessary but not urgent, postpone that gift, set a date: With children, certainly, you can wait for a birthday, an achievement, or have them contribute a part through small jobs. Adults can also rethink our relationship with things; nothing like a minimalist approach a la Marie Kondo to see all the things and clothes we've accumulated compared to what we've used in the last year. List of paid tasks at home: Even with a balanced distribution of household chores, there are other less urgent needs that always get left behind: vacuuming the car, organizing the attic, matching socks... You can make a list of these tasks and offer a small reward (it doesn't have to be monetary) to your children old enough to do them; it's a way to reward the effort of achieving things. Go out into nature (picnic included): Going outdoors, besides the physical benefits of oxygenation and breaking sedentary habits, teaches us the unhurried pace followed by most species. Additionally, discovering how satisfying a sandwich is after a couple of hours' walk is something no takeout can match. Cooking: Besides being much healthier than prepared food, it also educates us in organization (buying ingredients) and patience, especially if it's a dish that requires some preparation. It teaches us that the result is the delicious reward after investing time. Accompany a family member to something that requires a long time: Often, we extinguish fires, even with family. It's ridiculous that many people want company while others, like adolescents, are tired of being alone or feeling alone. Let's bridge those two needs! You can ask your adolescent or young child to accompany their grandparents to a doctor's appointment or on an errand... They'll surely be surprised by the slower pace of these older family members, they'll have to learn to wait patiently, and they might even be surprised by their elders' needs.Educate your child in scarcity, and you'll have a successful adult. Or perhaps not, but at least they'll know how to fend for themselves, and that, in itself, is a success.

How to cultivate growth in today's youth

A yellow flower grows in the desert modeling resiliency and hope

We had all heard about 'resilience'.&nbsp; However, the ability to bounce back occurs within a specific context, meaning we cannot isolate what happens to us and how we cope with it from what surrounds us at that moment, both internally and externally. Resilience and self-esteem are often discussed without further ado, leaving the responsibility of everything that happens to the isolated individual, when in reality, we should talk about 'net-silience'.Is the past really past? The best approach is not to leave it behind, cover it up, or suppress it. Our goal should be to take back the driver's seat of our lives, regain control and autonomy after experiencing overwhelming experiences by understanding what has happened to us. Otherwise, those traumas we bury and hide, over which we have no control, end up manifesting in our daily lives. Sometimes, we don't even consider them, and those traumas we are unable to detect keep constricting us, restricting us, and limiting us.If done inadequately, simply engaging with the negative aspects of our past experiences and without a purpose, it can risk retraumatizing. Revisiting the past compulsively without any intention of actively addressing what has happened is risky. It should be done coherently, in a way that can be understood and verbalized because putting it into words delineates it and allows us to move forward. Otherwise, we remain in struggle and frustration. Remembering just for the sake of it doesn't lead to recovery.We shouldn't trivialize the word "acceptance" because it's not about accepting everything. It's not "I accept that I was harmed," but rather accepting in the sense of understanding what happened, not agreeing with it. In other words, not resigning ourselves and staying in that state of discomfort; accepting to move forward, accepting to understand, and to take appropriate measures to seek help, to take steps forward, with a purpose of change, which is different from resigning.Divorces, infidelities, adoption or migration processes are the most recurrent small traumas... But perhaps what strikes me the most are situations of bullying in schools and workplaces. I believe that especially bullying, in such a crucial stage as childhood and adolescence, where the essence is developing identity, and suddenly there's rejection from the group, a very deep and difficult-to-accept wound is created. Evolutionarily speaking, it has been observed that a wound from school bullying, when you feel rejected, activates the same brain regions as when we're physically hurt. That is, our brains are wired in such a way that rejection causes pain. There's nothing more traumatic than another human being because the involvement of other people is what hurts the most.What happens in early stages is that since our brains are developing, it marks a fracture in our life story. At 40, if you have a traumatic experience, it causes a fracture in the psyche. In childhood, it not only marks but also shapes the developing brain. Therefore, it shapes how we interpret the world. It's also true that there are many other actors who can appear in life and can help repair. Not every child who has experienced trauma at 3 years old is doomed to live an unsatisfactory life.It's crucial not to talk so much about resilience as if it were individual, because ultimately we're not resilient solely on an individual basis; our resilience, our ability to overcome adversity and to face difficult situations, also depends on who we have by our side. That is, having good family support, a good network, a community that provides support and assistance will be decisive in the recovery process. Imagine a young person telling their parents about a traumatic experience and instead of validating and understanding, they're told it's a lie and they're being childish; it's doubly traumatizing.If we are unable to heal our wounds, we won't necessarily have a bad life, but perhaps a more restricted one. I believe it's necessary to identify emotions with words; it allows us to delimit them and makes us feel more empowered. The idea is not to stir up or uncover everything under the carpet but simply to acquire a broader emotional language because putting words to it helps us understand why we behave in a certain way.

Unveiling the power of 'net-silience'

Breaking up can be an emotionally challenging experience, and in some cases, it's necessary to cut all ties with your ex in order to truly move forward and prioritize your own well-being. This approach, commonly referred to as "zero contact," is not just a whim but is grounded in principles backed by psychology, offering insights into why it's often so difficult to let go of toxic relationships and how we can navigate this process effectively.Our minds are wired in a way that predisposes us to cling to what's familiar, even if it's harmful to us. This natural inclination can lead us to make decisions based on cognitive biases, such as the anchoring effect and the availability heuristic. The anchoring effect refers to our tendency to rely heavily on the first piece of information we receive when making decisions, often anchoring subsequent judgments and decisions to this initial information. In the context of toxic relationships, this bias may manifest as an undue attachment to the initial allure or promise of the relationship, despite its negative impact on our well-being. On the other hand, the availability heuristic can skew our perceptions of risk and probability, causing us to overestimate the likelihood of negative outcomes based on the ease with which relevant examples come to mind. In the context of toxic relationships, this bias may manifest as an inflated sense of fear or apprehension about the potential consequences of ending the relationship.Despite these cognitive challenges, there exists a behavioral approach to navigating the complexities of zero contact. By applying principles such as loss aversion and prospect theory, individuals can gain insight into the psychological barriers that prevent them from severing ties with toxic relationships. Loss aversion, for example, refers to our tendency to prefer avoiding losses over acquiring equivalent gains. In the context of toxic relationships, this bias may manifest as a reluctance to end the relationship due to the perceived loss of emotional investment or the fear of being alone. Prospect theory, on the other hand, suggests that individuals evaluate potential outcomes based on perceived gains and losses relative to a reference point, rather than in absolute terms. In the context of toxic relationships, this theory suggests that individuals may weigh the perceived benefits of maintaining the relationship against the potential costs of ending it, leading to inertia or indecision.Implementing zero contact requires a process of self-awareness and introspection. It starts with examining our motivations and assessing the costs and benefits of maintaining a toxic relationship. Armed with this behavioral insight, individuals can then make informed decisions and take proactive steps towards establishing healthier boundaries. Moreover, zero contact necessitates a willingness to challenge our preconceived notions and confront uncomfortable truths about the nature of relationships.Zero contact is a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. By understanding our cognitive biases and making informed decisions, we can break free from the cycle of toxicity and cultivate a life defined by authenticity, resilience, and self-empowerment.

GO Psychotherapy

Blog

Guiando a los dolescentes en el desarrollo del Funcionami...

Supporting children and adolescentes on the challenges o...

Estrategias para la regulación emocional en la infancia

How to cultivate growth in today's youth

Unveiling the power of 'net-silience'

Navigate your break up with resilience and resolve